A new year,
or is it just another day?
I find it useful to punctuate the year with various landmarks and ceremonies. These give me structure and the stimulus to consider matters associated with these ceremonies.
Typically, New Year’s Resolutions set us up to fail. If we don’t achieve them, then, perhaps, we are not good enough. Having felt ‘not good enough’ for most of my life, this is not a good idea for me. To use some of the shortest days to do a little planning and thinking seems, to me, a better use of time. Goals and Aspirations sound gentler on the spirit, more achievable and less bleakly prescriptive than Resolutions.
It would be so easy to set, for example, losing 2 stones this year, as a resolution, but what if you fail? To set losing weight without being specific about your target, is too vague to be meaningful. There is the rub.
Let’s talk about peace. I have been saying that I want peace in my heart for several years now, but what do I mean by that? If I believe peace is an internal process, why don’t I just do it? Well, that is for the same reason that I don’t ‘just leave the sugar alone’. I want space for peace and quiet, and as soon as I look like getting it, I join a writers’ group to fill in the space. Maybe, the writers’ group is a way of achieving more peace because it would cause me to make the space to think about the homework and, consciously, take some time out for me. Peace, I hope is not about doing nothing, but doing that which brings more peace.
I often list ‘being more loving to myself and others’ as an aspiration and in my later years I think this is working. I am not as hard on myself as I once was and, I have never been more contented with my lot, despite the limitations of my aging and damaged body. There is still work to do in this department, but I am rarely critical of anyone any more, with the exception, of course, of my husband and me.
The secret for me is not to make absolute changes, but to keep trying gently to improve things. I build in spaces and am more and more aware of needing rest. If I lose a pound it is a win, not failure because I should have lost more.
Happy New Year!
Frankie x
