Why Frankie?

My name is not Frankie or any variation on that name. My confirmation name was Francesca, but that is long since forgotten. Frankie was my Dad.

My friend asked me why I had used that name since I had struggled all my life with my over active internal critic and my critic learned most of its business from my Dad. This caused me to ponder. Why would I name this blog, after my Dad, particularly since I have been looking for my own voice for so many years?

Early in my conscious journey, I attended a workshop. After processing a great deal of distress caused by my critic, we did an exercise known affectionately as 'the shit into chocolate cake process'.

What did all that criticism give me and teach me?

My Dad's criticism made me want to learn and grow and hopefully become excellent at what I do. It had other benefits too. I can spot a distressed inner child at 50 yards, I am sensitive to what is not being said and felt, I can read the early programming in someone's language. and like my Dad, I care deeply about truth and justice.

Because I am so aware of the effects critics can have on a person, I try to be very careful when discussing patterns of behaviour with someone. If I do go too far or too fast, I can feel the pain, even before they feel it themselves.

My very dear and deeply loved Dad was very aware of the reaction people have to arrogance and conceit. He largely stopped me being that. He was also highly principled, a grafter and, right up to his death, willing to learn. I do hope someone will be able to say that about me when my time comes.

Frankie x

Why Blog?

Recently my first ever patient telephoned me. She started with me nearly 30 years ago. She invited herself for a cup of tea and asked if I still practised as an acupuncturist. I told her that while being semi-retired, I still saw a few patients.

Now a personal growth trainer, she has, among other things, a successful practice as a remedial masseuse. At the time of her ‘phone call, she was delivering training in Greece.

She told me that she had been telling participants about me and mentioned a book that I had recommended 30 years before. This was Being Happy by Andrew Matthews. By the way, all his books are great, and he makes his points concisely and with humour.

I was surprised and delighted to hear that one of her clients wanted to come and see me. This led me to think about the unpredictable networking results of our social interactions. It reminded me of the ripple effect of dropping a stone into a pond.

My heart goes out to all those young people who struggle to find peace, harmony and balance in their lives. I wish I had had a me, when I went through the loneliness and despair that I often felt in my teens and twenties.

I can no longer manage a full list of patients, (see blog about being 70). What can I do, then, with my 30 years’ experience as an acupuncturist, rebirther, counsellor, and 40 years of life experience?

Can I still reach out to those young people who are struggling? I thought about writing a book, but I don’t have the patience. An occasional blog when I am moved to write seems exactly right and, after all we oldies, must keep up with the cyber-age.

Frankie x