Why Frankie?

My name is not Frankie or any variation on that name. My confirmation name was Francesca, but that is long since forgotten. Frankie was my Dad.

My friend asked me why I had used that name since I had struggled all my life with my over active internal critic and my critic learned most of its business from my Dad. This caused me to ponder. Why would I name this blog, after my Dad, particularly since I have been looking for my own voice for so many years?

Early in my conscious journey, I attended a workshop. After processing a great deal of distress caused by my critic, we did an exercise known affectionately as 'the shit into chocolate cake process'.

What did all that criticism give me and teach me?

My Dad's criticism made me want to learn and grow and hopefully become excellent at what I do. It had other benefits too. I can spot a distressed inner child at 50 yards, I am sensitive to what is not being said and felt, I can read the early programming in someone's language. and like my Dad, I care deeply about truth and justice.

Because I am so aware of the effects critics can have on a person, I try to be very careful when discussing patterns of behaviour with someone. If I do go too far or too fast, I can feel the pain, even before they feel it themselves.

My very dear and deeply loved Dad was very aware of the reaction people have to arrogance and conceit. He largely stopped me being that. He was also highly principled, a grafter and, right up to his death, willing to learn. I do hope someone will be able to say that about me when my time comes.

Frankie x